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Monday, May 25, 2015

All Hail The Bean!

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel just...blah? Of course you do, I guess that was a silly question. So much work to do on so many different levels and trying to stay focused is really hard sometimes but my brain forces me into action because I do feel much better once something is accomplished.

Usually on a Monday there is a fine line between the "I hate Monday" feeling and the "It's just another day" feeling although without coffee it's a "Damn it all to Hell" day!

I joke about my coffee addiction but it is a serious thing! I'm trying to cut out my afternoon coffees, you know the 4 or so I will have between 3 pm and 10 pm. So last night after a couple of weeks of cutting those out I made the mistake of having 1...maybe 2 between 9 pm and 11 pm and could not sleep! My brain was rev'd up and ready for action. Not so good when you're up between 5:30 and 6 am and making Monday very, very sluggish.

I remember being in my early 20's and drinking pot after pot of coffee and still being able to go to sleep which still worked up until I tried to cut back and reduced the amount of caffeine and sludge in my system.

Morning's are a given, if I don't get coffee it's a total waste of time to speak to me because I'm simply not hearing you until I've been kick-started. It's all "huh's?", "what's," and "sure whatever's" until the first sip hit's my tongue and a grateful, relaxed and appreciative smile forms afterwards with a comforting sigh. You know that feeling like after Thanksgiving dinner and the happy groans while people either undo the top button of there pants or are even smarter people wear loose fitting ones afterwards while they stuff in the pie to top it off! I'm hungry...

Some have told me to switch to tea it has more caffeine. Tea doesn't cut it.
Have a smoothie. You're kidding right?
Try the herbal method. What method?...of madness because that's what would happen.

Ever had a headache from lack of caffeine? Sucks...big time...

Besides I'm not trying to completely give up coffee just trying to cut it out after maybe...noon or 2 maybe 4, somewhere in there. Where was I going with this? I don't even remember but the lack of coffee first thing on Saturday morning is probably why it took me so long to realize a raccoon was trying to pet me when I let my dogs out.

My point on this sluggish Monday?

This is how I started the day.

This is how it ends up!

Have a great week guys!

See Ya

Friday, May 22, 2015

Ripped From The Pages of...


You have to love these guys! When I watch them on You Tube they make me laugh so hard all of the time,  so it's only fitting that this list or Weird Facts comes from them and you know other sources but you get it!

The original list contained 42 weird random facts so I only took the ones that I pretty much had smart ass comments for so let the games begin...

1) The longest time between 2 twins being born is 87 days... 87 DAYS? Um that's around 3 months! 3 months! My kids were both 3 weeks late and that was enough I couldn't handle delivering 1 and having the other stay there for another 2 1/2 - 3 months. Since the first one was born 4 months premature it's not like mom had to spend extra time being pregnant but it's like a prequel of what's to come. So despite being 4 months premature the baby survived and now as twins with distinctly different birthdays can they still be called twins?
    2) The world's deepest postbox is in Susami Bay in Japan - Officially recognized as a mail collection point of the local postal system, 1,000 to 1,500 pieces of mail are dropped into the box each year.  For use by divers who buy water-resistant postcards. Ummm I've got nothing here.

    3) The oldest condoms ever found date back to the 1640's and were made from animal and fish intestines - Do you notice how they don't say what animals? How big are fish intestines really? Although we don't know what kind of fish I guess it's safe to say that they weren't sitting there stitching tiny little membranes together. Let's look that up...OK so I've found that there is conflicting reports of where the oldest condom was found but I did find this - The instructions recommend washing the condom in warm milk to stop from catching a disease.
    Warm milk? Is there something I'm missing here? At least they had some instruction with how to take care of their reusable condoms.

    4) Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like finger prints - So... I think it's safe to say that no one will be identified by their taste-buds because, that would just be weird.

    5) Casu Marzu is a Sardinian Cheese that contains live...Maggots ( I threw up a little bit in my mouth there ) The maggots can jump up to five inches out of the cheese while your eating it, so it's a good idea to use your hand to shield your eyes - OK family knows that as far as insects and bugs go, I'm not scared of many unless they are in large numbers but maggots are my Kryptonite. I mean standing on a chair like a mouse ran under it not screaming but retching. I can't even take out the green waste and put it in the bin unless it's dark outside. To know that there is cheese out there that not only CONTAINS them but that they can JUMP 5 INCHES and possibly end up in your eyes ( I have eye issues too) has my skin crawling even as I write this....GROSS.

    6) The Northern Leopard Frog uses it's eyes to swallow it's prey by using them to push the food down it's throat by retracting them back into it's head- all right now my eye issues get a chance to be recognized. HOW CREEPY IS THAT! Little buggers are kind of cute though.
    You are not getting a pic of the will never happen because I could throw up all over my keyboard in the process and that would be sad.

    7) Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine and apparently it works - Ok so I've heard that urine also works for foot fungus, and we all know the jellyfish thing but did you also now that it was used for infections of the anus? Scorpion stings? Stale urine could be used to cure baby bum rash? Isn't stale urine what caused that rash in the first place? Drinking your own warm urine could help a sore throat? Until now I had no idea how many uses there have been for urine...I look at peeing in a whole new way now...

    Someone should pee on the cheese ( shudder )

    Have a good weekend!

    See Ya

    Tuesday, May 19, 2015

    Demon Dolls...

    Hello Lovelies!

    A couple of weeks ago I had told you about going to see the new Avengers movie but apparently I forgot either the best or creepiest parts of the night out.

    Whenever we go to Silvercity we park in the farthest parking lot so that we don't have to fight people leaving the theater in the front lot. So as we park in our usual place and the 4 of us pile out of  the car and get ourselves situated for the trek to the movie Bean steps away from the group and comes back laughing.

    Bean: "Hey come here look what I found!"

    Allan is the first one to her as Blondunicorn moves quickly after him.

    Allan: "It's a doll..." rather nonchalantly as only Allan can do.

    As I circle around and look down by her feet there is a naked doll on the ground and from what I can see it's missing a leg laying face down on the pavement. Bean kicked it over to reveal half a missing head and an eye, only tufts of hair and a creepy smile.

    Me: "Well your going to die now...!"
    Bean: "Mom...I'm not going to die now!"
    Me: "Yes you are, you touched it and that's how this shit goes."

    Allan was nodding and shaking his head at the same time as Blondunicorn and Bean took a closer look at the mangled demon object that I had already determined it was. Pointing out the destruction that creepy one legged thing had happen to it.

    As we walked towards the theater BU had realized she had forgotten her phone in the car so we waited out front and she went back to get it. When she came back we headed inside to the line up that awaited us. Once we get in and find our seats, I've got BU on one side and Bean on the other, BU whips out her phone.

    BU: "Hey look what I got!"

    Pictures of said doll....have I mentioned I hate dolls? Have I also mentioned that they all know I hate dolls?

    Me: " you're going to die too"
    BU: "I'm not going to die!"
    Me: "No? Now we're all going to die because we've all seen it or touched it."
    BU: "We're not going to die!"
    Me: "Do you watch horror movies?"
    BU: "Not because I want to..."
    Me: "Then shush and delete that right now!"

    She shrugs...

    BU: "Hang on I'm texting it to Bean"
    Me: "You're texting it to Bean!... No! This is all forms of wrong! Sure there you go, touch it...poke it... take a picture of it and start texting it? Oh god..."
    Bean: "Got it! Man that's creepy!" as she leans over to show Allan.
    BU: "Ok it's deleted."
    Me: "Well it's too late now! You passed it's all over."

    They were killing me...all I could think about was the Twilight Zone Talking Tina Episode that started it all for me. Well that and my brother constantly trying to scare the crap out of me using my dolls because of that episode when I was 8. Ghost Adventures and their Doll Island Episode too creeped me out!

    By now my inner Screenwriter is screaming out the many possible and horrific ways this story could play out on screen and and kill us all and such thoughts almost made me grab her phone and throw it into the rows of seats ahead.

    The guy with his girlfriend sitting on the other side of BU found this very amusing while we discussed the specifics of doll possession. A week later that same guy walked into BU's work and remembered us and our banter saying that we had entertained him while waiting for the movie to start. She on the other hand could only remember him by his arms because he had full sleeves (tattoos) and was sharing an armrest with her.

    Well nobody died, no mysterious dolls ended up in our yard or house and until this weekend when we were talking about the doll situation I had realized that I had totally forgotten about it! I almost wish I had the pic so I could show you how creepy it was but...that would go against everything I'm saying now wouldn't it?

    Sooo...Blondunicorn and Bean...we're going to sit down and watch Annabel and see if you understand what I'm talking about.

    Have a great week!

    See Ya

    Thursday, May 14, 2015

    Ripped From The Pages Of...


    Arkansas dog bites the bullet, eating 23 rounds of ammunition.

    I have seen some dogs eat anything from tin cans - tires and even money but for a dog to eat bullets?

    The owner didn't notice anything wrong until the dog threw up and why would he? Unless they act strange or look strange or are drooling everywhere ( for non-drooling dog owners ) we have no idea that they have anything wrong with them but, 23 live rounds of .308 caliber ammunition. That's a pretty scary thought.

    Benno Ammo.JPG

    Although I have never heard of this breed specifically they look alot like German Sheppard's...

    Image result for belgian malinois and now it makes me want one...

    I had a friend a long time ago whose dog would eat money, always change and the funniest thing would be watching him in the back yard checking his dogs waste looking for the Toonie or quarters that she snagged off of the table because he obviously needed that change for something. 

    We had a Pitbull that would actively go through the garbage looking for tin cans way before recycling them became pretty much mandatory. She was also the tire eater. Whiskey eats string...and then throws them up, yup normal but ammo? Crazy!

    I even found Smokey the other night eating the top of a metal curtain rod, you know...the knobby thing?  I have no idea where he even found it because we don't have any metal curtain rods in our house.

    Now after they vet removed 16 of the 23 rounds because she wasn't worried about the dog exploding but instead being poisoned, she decided to let the dog pass the others naturally...did you see those?...How can that happen naturally and not painfully? Benno the Ammo eating dog is feeling much better now though and has simply gone back to eating his owners, wife's bras instead.

    Just a bit of weird for your week!

    See Ya

    Tuesday, May 12, 2015

    It's Never Too Late To Try

    Hello Lovelies!

    I hope you had a good weekend! The weather here was great and I think we had our first...almost too hot day on Sat. The May Day parade was in high gear in our little city and sunscreen necessary. As the long weekend approaches and the weather at this point looks like it might be good it's time to dust off all things Spring and Summer related like the barbecue...the lawn mover...and the antihistamine.

    These days I count myself lucky to be here considering everything that's going on in other parts of the world and appreciate the things I have and the things I should do or should have done before it's too late to change things. This week my head is at the before it's too late stage.

    I'm not being devastating serious but serious enough to realize that there are people in our lives that have done amazing things that should be appreciated more and some that should have less respect. Taking the steps to correct broken relationships though is something that needs to be done and no matter how much fear of confrontation that brings forth, it should not be deterred regardless of the outcome.

    How many of you have something that you wish you could fix? Change one thing and make it better?Think of the support network you have if you need it! Is it ever too late?

    Everyone has reasons for why they do the things they do and whether they are good or completely stupid reasons, hopefully the damage is repairable. In some cases it's not and the damage done is too far gone to make a difference.

    Although I haven't elaborated on the issues I'm talking about it's because at this point they are extremely personal maybe once the weight is off  and things are on the road to recovery maybe I can tell the story.

    I hope so...

    Anyway enough of that sappy stuff and back to dusting off the patio furniture making sure you enjoy your off time...if you have off time! I get 4 days off this May Long Weekend ( Victoria Day ) and plan on spending them wisely. Part of it anyway!

    The rest may be unwise but hopefully fun and worth it! I would like to check out Mad Max Fury Road this weekend and see how it fares in the franchise and San Andreas is another one that might scare the crap out of me because it's about one of my biggest fears. So yes I should go see that on the big screen...right...and then every time a truck or train goes by I'll freak out a little.

    So it's short one today! I hope your weekend (long or not) is just what you want it to be and I'll see you next time!

    See Ya

    Thursday, May 7, 2015

    5 Weird Things I Will Never Unsee

    Hi Guys!

    As I was perusing the weird news yesterday and came across some other weird stuff instead! Like this...
    I don't know where Radiant Farms is but if they have Unicorns I want to go there...before they are turned into a Spam like product for consumption by HORRIBLE PEOPLE THAT EAT UNICORNS!

    I'm this is just to make it "look" like you have abs by creating a pattern across your fat? Not only does that look stupid but it looks uncomfortable and come on ladies we want fake abs as much as men want fake boobs...oh wait they don't care about that.

    Ok I don't even know what this is but it makes me laugh every time I see it because she looks either REALLY surprised or like she's impersonating a blow up doll. Either way every time I look at it I giggle.

    And this must go with the above. Every teenager needs this in their getting ready for love kit because ya...this is normal...and...creepy.

    OMG Picnic Pants!!!!! It's like a revamped idea of what to do with all of those left over MC Hammer pants! They made them useful, kind of. It would have been better if they put a place setting on them to demonstrate the convenience of a picnic in your pants...wait on your pants.

    Today was just a random day with random weird things that I will never unsee.

    If you find any send them my way and we'll see what we can turn this into!

    See Ya!

    Monday, May 4, 2015

    Out Of The Ordinary

    Happy Monday Lovelies!

    I was short a post last week since I got sick on my birthday and just tried not to die but as the weekend approached it looked like things were beginning to look up.

    You know how after being sick, on that first day that you feel better you think that you really feel AMAZING? Don't trust that...ever. since Bean, Sese and I were all sick together and felt better the same day so Bean and I decided to take a walk and run some errands. Although I was glad to be out it was one of those too much too soon things, I got over it though because I knew that I was going to see The Avengers Age of Ultron later that night with half the family.

     I saw...I loved... it was all good although I have realized that I don't need to see movies in 3D.

    So after a full day and a late night on Saturday, Sunday was going to be my lazy maybe mow the lawn day...more like HAD to mow the lawn day. As I'm sitting on my deck Choo had asked me earlier  that morning f I wanted a motorcycle ( random question ) I said "Eventually..." and said I'd think about it fully knowing that we can't afford to build 2 bikes because he's building one already and but I would entertain the thought. So as I'm soaking up the sun and having a chat with Blondunicorn about the movie I duck inside for I don't remember what and I hear "Um...Steph..." as she's standing in the kitchen doorway looking out back. "Yup?" I say. Dramatic pause "um...your bike is here..."

    I'm sorry what?...

    She repeated herself and I look outside. " Nah those guys are always driving around with bikes on the back of the truck. he must be just dropping Choo off..." as they lower the ramp, he's smiling and says "Happy Birthday!" and they start unloading a 1968 BSA Thunderbolt...what is that you ask?

    I have no idea...

    Actually yes I do and do you know why?...because Google is the shit and I looked it up!

    Now Choo seems to think my love of British TV should extend into other things, like a motorcycle that I never heard of let alone thought I would ever have. Coincidentally it comes from the same place that is the home of one of my fav British shows right now too Peaky Blinders and as usually I need to be different while my friends and family all own Harley's. I'm OK with that.

    So at first I was irritated and mad...really, really irritated but the one thing that I had always wanted to do was build a bike, I can never deny that and now I have the opportunity to learn to do that myself and that sets off some serious excitement for me. I can't wait to strip her down and see what I have to work with but I still find myself saying out loud... "I have a motorcycle"... me...never thought it would happen.

    After the shock wore off I went out for coffee with my other Bestie and the most serious baby boy ever lil Cooper with his big blue eyes and was immediately shocked again as I told her about what had happened that morning.

    So as ordinary things go...this weekend was not one of them...I...have...a...motorcycle.

    She's going to be one Sexy Bitch.

    Have a great week!

    See Ya