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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

More Than I Expected...

Hello Lovelies,

It's a short one today but here none the less.

I hope your holidays were everything you wanted them to be and if not then I hope it's better the next time around.

The city is light today lacking bodies and traffic so it's eerily quiet. The office is cold because the building shuts off the heat during the weekends and holidays but we have a heater on to toast things up in here. Seeing as I was almost 45 mins early for work today it's nice and quiet for me to get this out in time for you to wake up or in some places you're just getting home and settling in for the evening.

Christmas was more than I expected this year, even though I was an adult ( for most of it ) I almost felt the child I used to be way...way back when. Not for the excitement of the gifts but for feeling complete in family. I saw some that I hadn't seen or heard from in many years. There was the one that practically had to be dragged out of bed and nagged until he showed up ( but that's a normal thing ), a wayward pup back home for a few days so much more that filled me with reinforcement of appreciation for the people in my life.

That and the fact that almost every gift I gave made them happy! I mean visibly happy and ripping them open with smiles, hugs and exclamations of sheer joy. Except for ass dragger who waited until I left the room to open them so I never got to even see a reaction...jerk.

Way to take away a girls sense of accomplishment.

A bonus..I wasn't hung over this year so all food consuming and cooking went off without the need to throw up and that was outstanding! It's over though all that time and energy and STRESS and it's over for one more year.

Thank goodness.

So we all know how much I love New Years even if I'm on my couch watching cheesy 80's videos or bad B rated movies but my only resolution this new year is to get my shit together and make next year better than the last one. My year wasn't bad, I did things, I changed things and I rolled with it all.

Next wide open.

Have a great week guys.

Happy New Year!

See Ya

Monday, December 21, 2015

Awful Christmas Gifts 2015 pt 2

Hello Lovelies!

This is the last Awful post since Christmas is this Friday. It's moved so fast and end of year is always the most busy and hectic. As well as the Winter Solstice being today on this side of the world I'm hoping that the shortest day of the year proves itself to be really short and my work day will hopefully feel shorter in return so far so good.

Only 3 and 1/2 days of work this week though and with Boxing Day on Saturday we get the Monday off on the other end so next week is short too. Fantastic. 

Anyway on to the ridiculousness.

The Lung Ashtray

I actually have nothing really to say about it except that someone is obviously trying to say something with this gift and I would have to smack them with it in return.

The Stud Undies...

Ummm...wishful thinking??? Ego booster????? Run away...

Extreme Chores Video Game

An extreme chore would be to actually have them doing their chores in the first place. I mean if paying them wouldn't get them done how would a point system work? And why does that kid look sooo happy? All of them are freaking me out.

 Brief Jerky

Edible...Meat...underwear... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Ok this is a pillow with an arm...

Desperate or needy I'm not sure which but I'm leaning more toward desperate.
Yup definitely desperation.

The Nap Sack...

This one made me laugh out loud! Not only is buddy wearing one in a meeting at least I think it's a meeting and the people on the ski lift ( how much sleeping time is there? ) but the one in Church mainly because you want to go un-noticed if you're sleeping in Church, right? 

Ok guys off I go. It's lunch and I still have time to get some writing in so have a great week!

See Ya

Monday, December 14, 2015

Cave Baby...Still Got Nothin

Happy Monday!

Well Christmas is only 2 weeks away now... this does not thrill me at all but 'Tis the Season' right?

Although things won't be like last year when it almost didn't happen due to the hangover from hell this year we will go without the possibility of alcohol poisoning! At least out of the 5 of us last year we were ALL down for the count until I had to cook food and bake things. It's all a blur now and I can't even look at a bottle of Appleton's Rum without my gag reflex kicking in.

Anyway I have a few more Awful Christmas Gifts for you but there are a couple that I think are right up my alley!

1. The Goatee Saver!
 The equivalent of a bowl on the head but for your man's face. A perfect goatee every time. Now I need to get one and have someone try it to see if this would actually work. I've already thought of 3 DIY at home things like this that could work, oh but wait this is a gift. Even though it looks like a giant adult soother.

2. The CROC phone case.
 Blond unicorn would love this because she is the CROC queen and why not have her phone follow suit?

3. 44cm Gummy Bear! An actual giant edible gift from the gods.
Oh come on! This is not bad...this is awesome! Why? Because the belly is shaped like a bowl and you can fill it. Fill it with what you ask? Let's say chocolate...fill it with chocolate and every woman in my house that has PMS will be satiated and calm for the duration. No one would get snapped at or have thoughts of smothering others with pillows. It's perfect!

Except for the diabetic sugar coma we would all go into.

4. I took this one so fast I didn't even notice what it was called but it's pretty obvious.

another gift that the women of my house would love while sending themselves into a sugar induced death but you have to admit it's kind of cool.

5. You Can Shave The Baby

I...ah...hmmm... when did babies come with full armpit and ass hair? What baby has CALF HAIR? And it's a Ginger baby? What exactly are they trying to say? Does it come with the razor? It's like Cavebaby. There is nothing else I can say here.

5. Lionel Richie Tea Pot.

This just makes me giggle and sing.

Ok guys I'm off for now but will be back this week with a post about how to not attempt to use Facebook messenger after you've had a few.

A group gets started and all hell breaks loose.

Have a great week.

See Ya

Monday, December 7, 2015

All I Want For Christmas..

Is absolutely none of these.

While looking for truly awful Christmas gifts I have found quite a few that are just undeniably ridiculous and as we go for the next few weeks they will become even more ridiculous.

So shall we get right to it?

Yes I think we shall!

Up first,

This seems self explanatory, except for why your hands would need in the first place. What's wrong with gloves? Do they go under your gloves? It doesn't even matter.

I have no idea what language this is but I'm pretty sure that's a sleeping bag, that you can walk around in, and at the same time have absolutely no use of your hands. Wouldn't those bathroom breaks be a chore? Maybe he has Handerpants on under there.

The DVD Rewinder... I would get this for someone just to see how long it took to get the joke and then laugh my ass off. So this one is good for the entertainment value alone but still awful.

This gives Wake n Bake a whole new meaning but still how is this even remotely a good idea? First you would have to set it up the night before and that not gross at all (yes it is) but then to wake up and cook in bed, or beside the bed? Who eats the second they crack open an eyeball? What about grease splatter on your face? What if you roll over and drape your arm across the grill?

I have too many questions.

Oh let's see...I have dogs and I knit but do I want to go as far as knitting WITH my dogs hair? I...think...not...ever. ti makes me itchy just thinking about it.

I you have an awful gift idea or someone has given you something that was just wrong let me know and we'll see if we can find something worse.

Have a great week!

See Ya

Friday, December 4, 2015

Year End Is Coming!

Happy Friday!

With Xmas just around the corner in a few weeks and my shopping halfway done, it leaves my mind free to wander about the upcoming new year.

This year has gone by so fast and reflecting on what has happened and how to improve the next year comes along with it. Wanting to improve it doesn't always mean you can though. So I try to start small but I'm thinking that next year I'll just go big and all in. 

2015 was my year to "Roll With It" and I did I took everything that happened in stride no matter how weird or uncomfortable it was, with the exception of going to Walmart in my PJ's with Blondunicorn and Bean because I'm sorry I just can't do it. The most I can do that way is hit a Tom Horton's drive thru in my slippers and only because who's going to see that! Unless she tried to make me get out of the car...but she wouldn't...out of fear.

Besides that it was go with the flow the whole way.

So the oncoming 2016 year is going to be the year to "Go Big." Instead of small steps towards making the year memorable it's going to have to be leaps and bounds! Within reason people! I know a few of you who are giggling like monkeys on crack right now but get whatever those thought are out of your head. There are many changes to come and many opportunities to make things happen, thank goodness for my patient and supportive group I have that will aid and abet my ideas without question.

 Except Bean who not only has questions but finds every, single, possible loophole to just about anything. 

Besides dabbling in photography and the strides I've made with my writing, it's time to buckle down and take the time to do all of the various things that consume my world and there are just so many!

What's life if you're not going to live it, right?

With that said Monday begins the Awful Xmas Gift line up and unlike my failure for Halloween These should go off without a hitch. If you have any suggestions or memories of gifts you received that were either less than appropriate or just ridiculous let me know. Pictures would be even better.

Now I have a work party to go watch people get drunk at!

Have a good weekend

See Ya