So after my complete melt down last week, it took me roughly 3 days to recover. Once I posted last week ( most views in one single day that I've ever had. Thank you! ) I felt better.
I've always said that I'm here and started this to leave something behind for my family. A way for them to remember some of the good times which I try to concentrate on mostly but every now and then I find it works out my own head like Ramblings of a Distracted Mind and others that showed chaotic feelings. I did feel better though, it was like it was all out and once I put it here I could move forward and I did.
A few days later a friend of the family passed away. It was a long time coming and as Lo would say they were prepared but not ready. I don't think you can ever be ready and even though I had only physically met her twice she entwined herself in my world through Lo and her love of plants matched mine, we got along over that and her flawless sense of humour while she took everything in stride. I'll miss not getting a picture of a random plant that asks me what the hell it is.
R.I.P. Kristi...we were well met.
Let's fast forward shall we to a conversation on the WCE with another friend that almost stopped my heart.
Me: So the vet will call me to pick up Cali's ashes this week.
SE: Did you get it done separately?
Me: *blink* What do you mean...separately?
SE: They didn't ask you?
At this point I know where she's leading but really...really hoping she's wrong as she looks at me with wide green eyes, hands covering her mouth ( but I knew she was trying not to laugh ) and eyebrows high in question and in knowledge.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEPARATELY?????
SE: You can get your pet cremated separately or they will put them in with other animals and you might only get...part of her back. They didn't ask you which one and explain it to you?
Now... I'm horrified...and panicking.
Me: NO! They came in and asked if I wanted private cremation that was it!
SE: Ok good, it's ok that's what you want.
Relief flashed across her face and mine as my heart slowed to a normal rhythm.
We picked up her ashes on Saturday. Bean and I had a cry because she was home now and although the weight of her missing from our lives is still there, the world keeps turning.
Thanks for all the love and support! You have no idea how much that means to me.
The rest of the weekend was spent praying for sunshine and praying for no rain where we had a tiny bit of sun and a little bit of rain but mostly cloudy, muggy summer darkness. This summer so far is not as it should be and as much as I'm glad it's not 30 - 35 degrees out it would be nice to have some PREDICTABLE weather to possibly plan around. So all I could do was daydream about a future I don't have yet, book a tattoo and write.
Damn you Norman Reedus for making my obsession worse on Sunday nights.
Next on the list...the people going don't even know it yet but planning a trip to Hells Gate for the end of Aug. I'd like that to be my first long ride so get your shit together people!
Now I know that at least one of you is saying HELL YA! While a few others are saying OH GOD.
Fitting don't you think?
Have a great week guys!
See Ya
S
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