The Beast On My Shoulder

Hello Lovelies!

I'm back from Vacation and as usual when I'm on Vaca I'm on it from everything. I use Facebook minimally, I disappear from the Twitterverse, Blogging and Instagram...well Instagram gets used a bit but besides that it's like going dark.

Let there be light again!

It was a relaxed week. I rode when I could and still have issues that I'm frustrated with myself over though. I accomplished a few things that I was determined to do around the house while I was off but there is so much more to do and organize. I got my tattoo done so that makes #5, My PS4 got some usage as my gamer girl kicked in and with Choo in Edmonton on that weekend I slept smack in the middle of the bed and ate Sherbet for dinner, in bed, right out of the tub while binge watching Scream and Dominion and it was GLORIOUS!

My first thought was just to post on Tuesday and get it out there but instead I decided to wait and fill up with my thoughts with...wait for it...FALL! Yes I know there are still a couple of weeks left of Summer but Fall is my favourite season and the weather has been changing, the air has been changing, kids going back to school everything screams Autumn with coziness and comfort foods and not waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat.

Stop

Let's pull to a screeching halt now...

I started this post around 2 weeks ago, Now I could have hit the backspace button but it's Monday and so far kind of awful so I decided screw it, why go back?

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I was here last. Last Monday I was home sick and stuck in bed for 2 days. My laptop was beside me but I had no energy to make my brain or fingers work. So now feeling better with Fall coming only 3 days away my nesting season has kicked into gear. Fall is when I feel crafty and comforted and with the ups and downs my family has had in the past few weeks I have decided to fully throw my attention into projects that I have yet to finish as well as those I have to begin. ( I think I say this every year. )

I've been annoyed and angry, emotional and heartbroken and with each occurrence I find more and more that I have to tell myself to breathe, let it go and not hang onto it.

Ok so I can do that but it feels like those emotions of late are just kind of left hanging there like a hazy cloud right behind me, not in my way but just there. Maybe that's because I haven't been filtering them through adequately? On some days I feel a bit lost, like I've lost control of some inner beast that keeps me level. I call it a beast because it takes on the things that I have no control over or have to move on from... and although it consumes those stresses, it lives to protect me from them. ( Sorry writers imagination. No less true though. )

Having Chrons' Disease taught me early on that stress is the worst thing for me so over the course of my life it's been fed alot and in turn I've stayed in remission.

After a weekend of putting things into perspective and organizing the day to day I feel back on track and yet I had no real idea of how much stuff I actually have to do! Thank goodness I have help for the big stuff.

That brings me back to today and it's raining and I was wet, late for work and there was no coffee but that's over, coffee in hand and words written has made me content for now.

While I'm feeling confident and determined to put everything together, my beast sits on my shoulder curled up with one eye open waiting to be fed some more, but it's gotten fat over the past few weeks so I think a diet is in order.

And I think I just found my next tattoo...

Have a great week guys!

See Ya
S